UGH!!!

I just need to take a moment to vent.

My stupid downstairs neighbors with their stupid loud tv kept my baby up forever last night! When he gets too tired he really struggles falling asleep, and when you add in tv that is so loud we can hear everything thats going on.. UGH! I'm still so mad about it. Every time he closed his eyes and started to relax something happened on the show they were watching and his eyes flew open again. I was so tempted to go down there are tell them to turn it down. This is not a one time problem either. They are so loud all the time and I don't think they even know it. I'm just trying to find the patience to not yell at them constantly. I know I can't confront them about it because I'm so mad that I'm completely irrational and I would be way too rude. Besides, we will be moving in a week, and then I won't have to deal with them anymore.

I'm so excited to move. We talked to the previous tenants of our new apartments, and they told us that the people that live above us have a little boy, so they go to bed early. They also said that they almost never hear them, except for their little boy running across the floor every once in a while. That sounds great to me!

My Awesome Hubby

I just want to take a minute to brag about Steve. He recently set up mock interviews for the accounting department. He put in a ton of work and got people from several firms around Utah to attend. Basically mock interviews are just a chance for accounting students to meet business professionals and pretend to interview for a job. Then the professionals critique the students interviewing skills. Everything from how they're dressed and their resume to how they answered interview questions. Its a really great opportunity for students to learn what is expected of them in an interview with a big accounting firm.

Anyway, Steve is just so awesome, that in his mock interview with HJ, they told him to be sure and interview with them in the fall because they are very impressed with him. I think that is so cool! I know its no guarantee that they will offer him a job, but the fact that they are so impressed with him just knocks my socks off! I always knew that he was super impressive, and I'm glad that other people see it too.

I'm just so proud of my husband. I know that he is working so hard in school so that he will be able to provide for our family in the future. I'm so grateful that I was lucky enough to be the girl that he chose to marry. I cannot imagine where my life would be without him.

Charlie is such a lucky baby to have Steve for a daddy.

Not So Small!

Everyone keeps saying how small Charlie is. I took him over to the accounting office to meet Steve yesterday, and everyone that came to see him said, "Oh, he's so small!" No. Charlie is not so small anymore. He has gotten so big! I guess that because I see him all day, every day I may be a little biased. He is still small and cute, but compared to when he was born he isn't that small anymore. Here are some pictures (finally) and hopefully everyone will agree with me that he isn't so small.

Charlie in the hospital. Yes he is SO small here.

Charlie in the NICU

We brought him home and he was still super cute and small, and almost never alert.

Then he started to get a little more alert.

And more wiggley.

And a little bigger.

And much more alert! (Ignore the ugly picture of me, just look at how cute he is)

And so much bigger!

So now everyone can see that his isn't so small anymore. He is big and cute and happy! I love him and we have so much fun every day.

I've Got This!

I've heard people say all the time that once you figure out what your doing at one stage in your baby's development, they change and you have to figure it out all over again. Well, I think I'm to that point. Charlie sleeps really well at night, I only have to get up twice to feed him instead of 3 or 4 times. He is awake for a good portion of the day, but he takes enough naps that I can actually get things done around my apartment. When he is awake he is super happy and content. I'm ok to leave him on the floor and let him wiggle, and as long as I talk to him he doesn't fuss too much. When we play he smiles and makes cute baby noises, and he makes me so happy. I think that he is easy right now. I've got this whole baby thing figured out. Of course that means that he is about to change. I can't even imagine what he might do tomorrow. He changes so much so fast. I guess I should say that today was good, and I've got this for now.

Sleeping... More Like Not Sleeping

Sometimes Charlie is so tired that he won't sleep! He just sits and cries, cute little sleepy cries, and he stares around the room. When he shuts his eyes he struggles to open them, and then he cries more. So maybe its mean of me, but when this happens I can't help but hold his eyes closed. If I wait for him to fall asleep I'm up for at least half an hour, but if I hold his eyes closed its 2 minutes tops. He just needs a little help I guess. Sometimes, if he won't let me hold his eyes closed, I put a blanket over the top part of his face. He just needs to not look around so much. Maybe he doesn't know that everything will still be there in the morning. Or maybe he does know that we are leaving these cinder block walls that he loves staring at so much. But really, he'll love our new apartment's walls too.

More About Charlie

Charlie's Hospital Stay:

During my pregnancy I had gestational diabetes. I controlled it completely by diet, and I did really well. Charlie wasn't too big, which was what I was really worried about, but he did have low blood sugar because of it. At first it was just annoying. The nurses had to check his blood sugar before and after every feeding, which made feeding him very difficult. When he'd start to act hungry we'd call a nurse, then she'd take about 10 minutes to get to our room, take Charlie to check his blood sugar, and bring him back 20 minutes later. By then he was too hungry and grumpy to nurse. Then the second night in the hospital his blood sugar dipped down into the low 30s and they took him to the NICU. I was so worried when they first told me. This was all my fault! I felt terrible. We went down every 3 hours to feed him. After a while I realized that the NICU was super nice. I think that I really liked him being in the NICU because I knew that he wasn't too sick, and that we would get to take him home the next day. They had him all ready for feeding by the time we got there. There was a nice chair where I could put my feet up while I fed him. There was a basket full of treats for Steve and I, and on St. Patrick's day they gave us a present. Everyone was super nice and supportive. They let us help take care of him so much more than we got to when he got to stay in our room with us.

In the NICU Charlie was put on an IV to keep his blood sugar up. As we fed him and they tested they gradually weened him off of it, and by the end of the night he wasn't on anything. We had to wait a couple more feedings to make sure that his blood sugar was going to stay up, and then we got to take him home!

He also had jaundice, and he was under bili lights while he was in the NICU, which was only a little annoying becaue I couldn't hold him for very long, and when we went home we had to take a bili bed with us to keep him on through the weekend, but other than that it was no big deal. I know that a lot of women have gestational diabetes, and their babies have low blood sugar because of it, but that part was still way more scary than the jaundice. It seems like every baby had jaundice.

Swollen Feet:

I knew that pregnant feet could get super swollen. I felt lucky that mine only swelled up a tiny bit during my pregnancy. I did not know that after you deliver your baby your feet could swell so much! I would put up a picture, but I didn't take one. My feet were so swollen that it hurt to bend my ankles. Whenever I stood up they would start to tingle, in a bad way. The kicker is that while I was in the hospital they checked my feet all the time for swelling. Then right after they discharged me they swelled up so bad! They didn't even look like my feet anymore. My ankles looked like they had softballs in them, and I'm sure that I could have fit 3 of my normal sized feet into each of my swollen feet. The good news is that after a week my feet were back to normal. I just had to remember to put my feet up all the time. Also, wearing tight socks helped a lot.

Clogged Tear Duct:

This is another one of those things that no one has ever told me about. After Charlie's first doctor appointment after coming home from the hospital his right eye started oozing bright green goop. It was gross. Every time he would cry it would leak out. The worst was when he slept though. It would cover his entire eye and seal it closed. I thought that he might have pink eye or something. I kept it pretty clean, but that meant I had to constantly wipe it out. Then after about a day it started to get better. It was almost completely gone by our next appointment. I asked the doctor about it and he said that newborns have really tiny tear ducts, and sometimes they are too small for tears to come out, so they ooze. He said it can last up to a year! Gross! I guess we were really lucky that it only lasted a couple of days. I wouldn't want to clean slime out of his eye for a year.

Pooping:

At the hospital they told us to expect 4 poopy diapers a day. Yeah, that did not happen when we got home. He didn't poop for like 4 days! We were really nervous that something was wrong. They had also explained to us that pooping was how that jaundice was going to get out of his system. So if he wasn't pooping, how was he going to get better? When we went to the doctor and asked him how often we should expect Charlie to poop he said anywhere from several times a day to once a week is normal. He also said that he can't believe that the hospital is telling people to expect 4 poopy diapers a day. Its just one of those "every baby is different" things. We just needed to learn Charlie's pattern, and that is what we should expect.

Circumcision:

I was so curious about what would happened when Charlie was circumcised that I decided to watch. My advice: don't watch! It wasn't too bad, I guess, but now that I know how it happens, I kind of wish I didn't know. I'm not going to explain it, but I'm glad Charlie was numb. I was fine watching at first, but after a while I had to go sit down because I was getting light headed. They said that it would take a week for it to be better, but I think it was better after like 4 days. And now, like 2 weeks later, it looks totally normal, not red and irritated at all or anything.

Breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding is hard! Charlie latches on just fine, but he is so stubborn about which breast he is on, and he will not drain it! I think it gets harder to suck or something, so he just gives up. My plan was to stop supplementing with formula eventually and exclusively breast feed, but now I think I really like mix feeding. I get the closeness and the satisfaction that comes with breastfeeding, and I get the ease of formula feeding. I just need to not talk to the people at WIC because they make me feel bad about formula feeding. Its not all bad! Because we give Charlie formula, we don't have to give him a vitamin D supplement. Also I think the formula fills him up better than my breast milk alone. Maybe with my next baby I will try to breastfeed exclusively, but with this one, I think I'm going to stick with mix feeding.

Ok, I think that catches everything up. Maybe. I might be forgetting something, but I'll just post it later if I remember.

Happy Baby

Before today I never knew if Charlie was happy or not. He would always just sit and stare at the wall when he was awake. I really couldn't wait for him to become more responsive. Then *BAM* today we played for an hour! He stared up into my face and tried to copy what I was doing. No joke! I stuck out my tongue, so after a few seconds he stuck his out. I smiled, so he tried to smile. I made a kissy face, so he tried to pucker up too! I'm sure some of it was just a coincidence, but it made me so happy! I love playing with him and knowing that he is happy. It probably would have gone on longer than an hour, because why would I stop him from smiling at me? But then he pooped. He really hates being poopy, so playing wasn't fun any more.

Can't Have Been 4 Weeks!

I intended to start writing this blog forever ago, but I haven't gotten around to it. I've had time, but I haven't known exactly where to start. So much has changed in the past four weeks. Everything from my body and emotions, to my babies development and my relationship with my husband has changed, and I have so much to say about all of it. I apologize is this first post is really long. I will try to organize it so that it makes sense. Also parts may contain TMI. You've been warned.

My Labor:

I went into labor on March 13th. People tell you that you will know when you are in labor. I was confused about it right up until they told me to start pushing. Ok, so thats a lie. I knew we should go to the hospital when we did, but I did not think that they were going to keep me. My contractions started out like period cramps, and then became bad period cramps, but none of that made me think that I should go to the hospital. It was when they started feeling like an intense burning pain. Literally as if I were on fire. So for all of you pregnant women who don't know how you'll "know" its time, if you think you're about to turn into a vampire Twilight style, then go to the hospital. You are in labor.

Once in the hospital they told me that I was dilated to a 2. I was so disappointed. At my doctor's appointment the Wednesday before this I was a 1.5, so a 2 was not much improvement. After and hour and a half I was a 2.5. No joke, I was dilating that slow. I thought they were going to send me home, but I guess progress is progress. Once I got to a 3 I asked for an epidural. Everyone told me that getting an epidural would slow down my labor, and since it was already super slow, I was nervous, but after getting it I shot from a 4 to a 9 in only an hour, and 20 minutes after that I was fully dilated.

I started pushing at 6:00 Monday morning. My doctor got on at 7, and at 8 he started talking about doing a c-section because Charlie was face up and not making any progress at all. That was my biggest fear. I started crying and asking for other options. My doctor tried to turn Charlie, with no luck, and he tried the vacuum with no luck. Then he came up with a brilliant plan! He would turn Charlie during a contraction while I was pushing. SUCCESS! After that the vacuum worked too. Charles Walker Hurd was born at 9:21 AM March 14th 2011. He was 8 lbs 7 oz and 21.5 inches long.

I did have a second degree tear, which my doctor said was totally average. I got a few stitches, and he was done. I was happy to actually have my doctor deliver my baby. It seems like a lot of the time that doesn't happen.

The Mommy Shakes:

No one ever told me about the mommy shakes. Hopefully I can save someone the surprise. Being in labor makes your body produce adrenaline like crazy. All that adrenaline makes some women shake violently. I was one of those lucky women. I started shaking after one particularly nasty contraction. Actually it was the first contraction that really hurt bad enough to erase all my fears about an epidural. The shaking did not interfere with me getting my epidural, which was a big concern of mine, but the epidural did nothing to relax me enough to stop shaking.

Every time I would manage to stop shaking enough to fall asleep, that dump blood pressure machine would turn on, or a nurse would come to check on me and I would start shaking again. I must have slept two hours the entire night. By the time I was ready to push, there was so much pressure, and I was shaking so bad that I NEEDED to push. With every push the shaking got better. It had almost stopped when my new nurse came in. She would not let me push! She waited until the peak of every contraction, and if she didn't deem it strong enough I wasn't allowed to push. It was terrible! The shaking started all over again, and would not stop for anything. Finally after Charlie was born the shaking stopped. Which really does make me feel lucky. My nurse told me that some women shake for hours after they give birth! Trust me, that shaking was bad! I was very happy to have it stop.

My Epidural:

I was so scared to get an epidural. It is a HUGE needle, that is not sharp at all, and they stick it into your back. All of that sounds pretty awful to me, but it wasn't bad at all. They give you a little numbing shot, which hurt a tiny bit in my arm when I got my IV, but it did not hurt in my back at all. Then they go for it, but you don't feel it because of the numbing shot.

Something pretty weird did happen to me though. When they placed the catheter in my spine it hit a nerve or something. I felt this jolt of warmth shoot down my left leg and it kicked up. Apparently thats normal. They just moved that catheter around until I my leg felt normal, and that was that. Everything got plenty numb, pretty much instantly. The only thing that the epidural didn't help with was the pressure when I was fully dilated. The pressure of needing to push was so intense that it was incredibly painful. But I didn't have to feel any more contractions. So I would still call it totally worth it.

Physical Recovery:

Right after giving birth to Charlie I swore I would never have any more children, and I felt so bad for everyone I know who is pregnant and will have to go through that. It was really that miserable. The very next day, however, I changed my mind. I was feeling much better. I could walk around easier, and I wasn't bleeding as heavily. That is really how fast I got over it, so really I guess having a baby isn't that bad. I left that hospital with my bleeding down to a normal period type flow, and I wasn't too sore. I did have to sit on an inflated doughnut pillow thing for a couple weeks, and I felt like I was going to wet my pants if I walked around for to long for a couple weeks, but all in all I'd say that physically I felt 100% better after 3 weeks.

Emotional Recovery:

Going home with a baby is hard. Don't think for one second that because you managed in the hospital that you will be able to do it at home. The hospital is full of nurses who do 80% of the work of taking care of your baby for you without you knowing it. At home is just you, and it is so hard. The first week we were home I was emotionally numb. I couldn't figure out how to take care of Charlie and myself. I forgot to eat all the time, and even when I remembered, I had no desire to eat. Gradually it got better. I learned how to juggle Charlie and eating and showering and laundry. I haven't figured out dishes yet, but I'm not really trying that hard.

The second week of being home I cried. I don't think I stopped crying at all. It wasn't that I was sad or anything was wrong at all, I just couldn't stop crying. Happy things made me cry, annoying things made me cry, commercials on tv made me cry, everything made me cry. Steve was so worried about me all the time, and all I could tell him was that nothing was wrong. I didn't know why I was crying. Don't worry about me.

I gradually stopped crying and now I am incredibly happy all the time. I have a sweet little baby boy. He needs me all the time. I have his food, I change his diaper, I hold him when he's cold. I am the most important person to this little boy. I feel so fulfilled all the time. I am so grateful to be Charlie's mommy.

I have so much more to say, but this is a really long post so I'm going to stop for now. In the future I will write about Charlie's hospital stay, his circumcision, his clogged tear duct, breastfeeding, and many other things that I either can't remember or haven't thought about yet.